life is beautiful and i do have the time

i don’t know what to do with myself

i’m sorry but i don’t

but if you’ll have me

if you truly want me, fucked up and all

you have it

you have all of it

i feel so light and at peace. i’ve never been this happy. i want to feel like this forever. 🌻

somebody get me drunk and let me chat that one person

how am i supposed to be happy when all i ever wanted comes with a price

“you have at least a thousand capacities in you even if you don’t think so.”

the future is so uncertain and it scares me

according to ted mosby in how i met your mother, “nothing good ever happens after 2:00 AM.” during this hour, we start to put off the mask we’ve been wearing all day. we become bare, vulnerable and real. this version of ours mostly peaks at 3:00 AM where the real thing starts.

at 3:00 AM, we become fully open to the emotions and feelings that we’ve been holding back all throughout the day. this is the part where the rage outbursts come in, with all the ugly crying and self loathing. this is the time of the day whether we’ll be at our best or at our worst. there is no in between.

the moon and the stars have always been our company during these times. they are just up there quietly listening to the things that we can’t say outside the walls that we’ve built.

then came you, my number 1 fan at 3:00 AM… you are the moon, the stars and a whole galaxy personified.

you witnessed the 3:00 AM version of me — unmasked, vulnerable, real, no holds barred. you never judged me. you accepted me wholeheartedly and i couldn’t ask for more.

despite seeing the weak and vulnerable version of me, you still believed in me. you still see me as a beautiful human being as if i have no scars and flaws. you made me believe in myself that i can get through everything no matter how hard it is.

to ted mosby who said that nothing good ever happens after 2:00 AM, i’m sorry but i beg to disagree. i would rather believe in barney stinson who said that legendary and awesome things happen after 2:00 AM because that’s the time wherein we are brave enough to be true to ourselves and to the people we’re with.

to my number 1 fan at 3:00 AM, thank you for everything. i, too, am your number 1 fan, not just at 3:00 AM but 24/7 365. through the wild of it all that it took just to be here, your light is still pushing through me — from the surface up until my core. i sometimes wonder how vast our own universe would be with all the galaxies within us combined.

and to whoever stumbled upon this note, know that being 100% real to yourself and to other people establishes a deep connection as solid as a diamond. if you happen to have someone who has seen the midnight version of you and stayed by your side, keep them because these diamonds are so hard to find these days.

penge motivation 🥺